I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
