Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
