Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
