Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
