did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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