and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
