i permit you to call me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
