Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
