Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
