Where did you get a picture of my penis
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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