Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
