woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
