she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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