i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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