The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
