I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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