A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
even my farts smell like vagina
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
