just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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