If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She's the barista slut.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
