Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
