Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
