Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
