In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
