can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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