Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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