you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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