I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
