no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love you. Go after that dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
