I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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