No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
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