Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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