i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I need water and some morals
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
