omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
