just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
