I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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