Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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