just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
