Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
