is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
