Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
