Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
