ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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