My liver just broke up with me...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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