Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
