you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
