So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
