got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
