I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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