TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
