beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
